Episode: FINALE

Evo Confession

After a small hiatus during some lacklustre episodes we find ourselves at a finale with 6 still in the game! Cirie and Aubry are the only players without an idol or advantage, that will be tough to circumvent. Craig, Phoebe and I take a look at the Survivor landscape before the FINALE… Enjoy!

Evo’s Final 3 – Sarah, Culpepper and Troyzan. Been on this since Episode 3. Edit is screaming this. Of late we have seen Sarah as a strategist and Culpepper as a fighter who is losing love from his fellow contestants. Troyzan is the GOAT.

Cirie – I love Cirie. Her balance beam HERO moment was amazing. I would be ecstatic to see her win, but there’s is more chance of Probst wearing a mankini to the final tribal than her winning. Biggest threat to win from a social and emotional stand point.

Aubry – Edit hasn’t been great. Always on the outs with the vote, can’t see her getting to the end, might be an easy out when everyone is stressing about just getting to that final 4 spot. She also doesn’t have an idol or advantage.

Tai – Secretly hope he goes full buddha mode and wins every immunity from here on out…. but… I can see him making an emotional mistake. Brad has threatened in confessionals to ditch him when needed. Ominous. Two idols guarantees this beautiful human a top 4 spot… unless he gets a bit freaky with his idol plays.

Troyzan – Has done well to lay low, having said that what has he really offered? Can’t win, no combination results in him taking it out.

Culpepper – Dominated the pre-merge, since then has been a target for all. This can work in his favour but the edit suggest’s he is rubbing people up the wrong way. Alpha males winning Survivor… doesn’t happen often. Nice growth throughout, he will WWMD his way to a runner up spot.

Sarah – Well well well, here we are. Don’t think it has been an amazing effort and for the life of me I can’t believe she hasn’t been ousted due to her plays so far… however, the legacy advantage means she is safe until the 5. The edit has been screaming to us her win. Crying over the Zeke/Varner blow up. Spotting advantages others couldn’t see. Outsmarting Cirie for Probst sake! Who does that? Criminal not Cop line. Will be staggered if she doesn’t win purely on edit.

LAST THING – A season that deserves an amazing finale. Oh how I wish Tony and Sandra stuck together, could easily be sitting at the end together right now. Culpepper and Sarah have shown the most growth since previous seasons, that’s why I believe that’s our top 2.

Craig Confession

Can I just say, I am loving one of the biggest Game Changers this season – TRIBAL! The scrambling and whispering, STANDING UP AND MOVING, it’s how a tribal should be and I am so happy it now looks like it will become another evolution of the game.

2nd, in her 4 seasons Cirie has never slipped up before, and it was “Not reading the fine print” Why didn’t she? UM BECAUSE she was too busy setting up some amazing moves. Still think she screwed up? Ok, because after all that to still walk away with no votes against her…………..MMMhmmmmm

Why did Sarah take out Michaela? Well most likely to take out Ciries right hand woman and “Force” her move of taking her to the end (if Sarah knew) and also saving Tai and remaining in his good books.

What is with Cirie’s random votes? She sets up the vote, and then doesn’t vote with her voting bloc. It seems to work as she never manages to get a vote and ever really seems to have the target on her. Is that the plan? To look as if you don’t know what is going on? Or simply to not be viewed as voting out the jury?

I know that EVO disagrees with me on this as his Final 3 are Troyzan, Culpepper and Sarah, due to his foreseen edit predictions form EP 3 onwards. But I disagree. Never trust the edit, and this season the edit has been TOO obvious, so in my opinion they are setting it up so the audience believe they know what is going on and then deliver some season final SHOCKERS. Imaging the uproar when Culpepper and Sarah are taken out at 5th and 4th. I still believe that Sarah is taken out due to her extensive resume, however, with Ciries confessional last season that the Jury would be bitter towards her makes me pause.

Craig’s Final 3 – Tai, Cirie and Aubry. Don’t ask me the mathematics. But that’s what I think. Maybe it’s my little go against the grain of the majority hahahahahaahahhhah

Troyzan – NO. weather he makes the end or not, there will be nothing for him but his own ability to state he can make 39 days……..somehow

Tai – With 2 idols under his belt, you can say that he should slip into the final 4 without worry. But I am unsure what his social moves have been to allow him the votes at the end to take the game.

Aubry – A constant player at the bottom, not really pissed off the Jury, can simply state she had no choice being on the bottom. Contender? Maybe. Could be a 2 time runner up.

Culpepper – Ok I admit he has the potential. People on the jury that would vote for him. It comes down to brads final speech in my books. He has a resume at simply dodging the vote when he has been a target for a long time. I believe it would work in Brads favour to allow Troyzan to be voted out without a hand in it as this would allow Troyzan to vote for him to win.

Sarah – Has played a brilliant game for a viewer perspective, and also as a player. However I do sit here and think of the other player’s perception on her. Are they going to reward a Game Changer? Or be bitter over her moves? Did we see some foreshadow with this last episode from Andrea stating “there are people here that be your best friend all day and then vote you out” I think it comes down to her speech and convincing the “Bad Taste” jurors to change there mind.

Cirie – What can I say! Final 6 and still not ONE vote against her, never won anything, started playing like a machine from the merge. One mistake was not reading the fine print, however, the outcome made Sarah look even more like a selfish little bitch compared to Cirie, who ended up looking amaze due to still not receiving a vote. I hope hope hope she makes the final 3. I ould LUV to see her final Speech to the Jury. I have my fingers crossed and believe she deserves it.

LAST THING – Question, ummm GAME CHANGERS. Does anyone think there will be one more random GAME CHANGE from Jeff in the last few days? Such as Final 4 face the Jury or a Final 2 not a final 3?

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Episode 10: Smooth Criminal

Debbie thinks she is the best player to ever play. Sarah says that lines in the sand can get washed away by the shore… prophetic! Where Debbie thinks the line has been drawn in concrete. Stinks of foreshadowing that line, let’s see how it plays out.

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Debbie making her line the sand as everyone else watches on

Eleven is an intriguing number. Stick to the six or get funky with the five.

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Debbie trying to convince Culpepper to stay strong.

Craig Confession

So Debbie takes out Ozzy, and here comes the cockiness that we have seen before. Andrea being pissed at Zeke unleashes the beast. She has been quite for most of the game so far. But being targeted has lit the fire. YES GIRL. I am loving Sarah’s approach to playing where she wants, no lines in the sand, and voting for her own game. Not sticking to numbers and “Being comfortable”.

REWARD

Teams will be split in five… umm but Jeffy boy that’ll mean someone misses out you sadistic genius! Michaela draws the short straw, staggered by this, she is a challenge beast. Don’t feel too sorry for her though as underneath her sit out seat is A SECRET ADVANTAGE, it even has that written all over it. Surely she picks it up?

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You said it Michaela!

Cirie is competing in a water challenge so we all know her team will lose. What happens throughout though is compelling viewing. She just can’t get it done, Sarah after chastising her swims out to help her finish, then when they lose by a landslide the whole tribe swims out! Never underestimate that people do actually care for each other out there, despite the cutthroat nature. Jeff gives Cirie the opportunity of finishing the balance beam even though it’s all over.

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One small step for Cirie, one giant leap for Survivor kind…

She does! Completing the challenge and almost leading me to tears! Almost!

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Me on the couch watching Cirie

As they go to board a boat out Michaela leaves without noticing the advantage, Sarah does because she is a cop… because no one else could possibly see an item that has in bold writing on it SECRET ADVANTAGE. I think they should have had written on it OBVIOUS ADVANTAGE or GET THE OUTSIDER THAT NO ONE LIKES BACK IN THE GAME ADVANTAGE . However, Super Cop or Shady Criminal Sarah gets it. Well done! Winner edit screaming at us now.

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“I’m a Cop you idiot!” – Sarah in her confessional

Craig Confession

OK The reward. HAAHAHAHHAHAH Michaela u silly bitch. Luv her sass, but cleary it played againts her this time. To pissed and bitchy to pick up that Secret Advantage. If she never found out about it, i believe her face during this episode would be priceless. Even putting her shoes on right beside it. AND to not notice Sarah swimming over. WTF

THEN SARAH! How she got around the not getting in the boat and swimming over and grabbing the advantage without anyone questioning or noticing? Luv it.

Much luv for my Queen Cirie, never been a challenge beast. Very heart felt moment. LUV. She is the social player and to go from a target in the beginning to not be on anyones radar. She is getting a great amount of screen time now. I hope its not due to an upcoming, possibly big blindside. Im hoping its going to be more towards someones decision about her and their battle due to what we have seen in their decision.

CAMP

Sarah unwraps her advantage, steal a vote from another player. Wow they are really going for it this season with idols and advantages.

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Lying, Cheating, Vote Stealing

Craig Confession

Secret Advantages. Attention to detail Sarah? Ok, pretty sure if anyone looked at Michaela’s platform properly you would have noticed that massive bloody wrapped up gift.

And here comes the Cockiness. The belief that a game is going to go how you want when your? Half way. You are playing with returnees, who wont go lightly or without a fight. Well maybe Hali. But if you think these people wont turn around and fight the majority? PALLEEAASSEEE. Sierra Dawn Thomas and Culpepper, im looking at you.

You get cocky, you make mistakes. Why loose the social aspect of the game? Debbie you suck at this. At least SDT Does her bitching behind backs and doesnt walk up and piss down peoples legs. Honestly, Cockiness for me is a beeline for – Bye bitch bye.

Well this really is a “Sarah” episode isn’t it. She can go both ways and I have no idea what she is going to do.

IMMUNITY

I always describe this challenge as the ropey dopey balance word stacker competition. Contestants have to spell immunity with building blocks whilst holding a rope that keeps the blocks steady. The catch is getting the blocks from one side to the other and not tipping the apple cart. Andrea takes an early lead, Tai surprisingly sucks, Ozzy is in Ponderosa having a psychic fit knowing he’d dominate this and out of nowhere TROYZAN WINS IMMUNITY!

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Easy Chewie

PRE TRIBAL

It’s a simple equation but I have no idea what the hell is going on for some reason, well done editors. Is Sierra going? Is Debbie going? Is Michaela going? Will Sarah flip like she did in Cagayan?

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Come to the Dark Side

TRIBAL

At tribal it appears as if it is a foregone conclusion that the strong 6 will stick together a vote out Andrea or Michaeala. Troyzan finally makes sense, just get to six then turn on each other. I actually agree with him, flipping now seems silly considering if the six of Sierra, Brad, Tai, Troyzan, Debbie and Sarah get to the end there will be cracks everywhere to expose. Then Debbie starts talking how it is soooooo straight forward the vote and Sarah does a horrendous acting job backing her up. Uh oh. Debbie… like a horror film I am screaming LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU!

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The audience watching Debbie blissfully unaware of what is transpiring around her

Votes are read… Debbie is toast. Culpepper is confused. Sarah has gone bang bang and still has her vote stealing advantage up her sleeve.

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TV Gold. Thanks for the ride.

Craig Confession

BOOM YES – Bye Debbie. Thank gosh. Luv her, but as a fan, episode went the way i wanted. And the look on Culpepper and Sierra Dawn Thomas faces HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH “omg whhaattt? how could that happen? we were amazing? i dont understand? we had it in the bag! hahhahahahahahahahahahahaha

PS Everyone else just played their roles perfectly, giving nothing away and going the majority.

How to waste an advantage…

Take a look back to this game changing advantage that Debbie had and ultimately wasted due to her ego.

Wasted…

Damn…

Episode 8 & 9: Beauty and the Challenge Beast

Let’s not beat around the bush, when the double episode comes along in Survivor you know that you aren’t going to get much! This double trouble did not disappoint, not much happened so we decided to have a look at the remaining Survivors and give them an appraisal.

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Beauty

Before we do that though here are some quick fire takeaways:

  • Cirie got what she wanted by keeping Michaela around.
  • Tai defeated Ozzy in the hang from a pole forever challenge, something Ozzy has made his own.
  • Debbie wasted her extra vote advantage.
  • So we say goodbye to two competitiors that couldn’t be anymore different. The reserved non-game player Hali and the swashbuckiling Survivor challenge beast Ozzy.
  • Ozzy did what he always does, overrates his security in the game, dominates challenges, provides for his tribe and is ultimately blindsided.
  • Hali did what she did last time. Nothing. What a waste of a spot this season. Would have rather seen the rock that Francesqwwwwaaaa ended up eating after Caramoan compete!
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Challenge Beast

Craig’s Survivor Breakdowns

Queen Cirie

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Jedi Master

Here comes my queen. So to sit there and have ALOT of peeps say that they couldnt let my Queen make the merge and then let her! NOW YOU KNOW look at her just go. Yes she may be a little forward in this game with some play but otherwise her subtletee and making the moves to help herself just show you why she is here. To take Michaela away and have there chat. Billiant. ALSO if you listen, she speaks in “General” terms, tries to stay with the speech of “THEM AND US” without putting her foot in her mouth with names. She is still a target but has managed to get people to want her with them EVEN OZZY. Now to turn around and say “you know what, im not going with their vote out” is a game changer, and then to make it happen whilst letting the others think she is still on board. AND THEN to get Zeke to suss her thoughts out himself and make him skeptical, oww she is good. No one knows that Cirie was the one to change the plan – YES GAGA YESSS.

Sierra Dawn Thomas

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Hali and Sierra in their final moments together

Um, yes Sierra Dawn Thomas is in a power position, but i see her playing like a high school chick. She states “She is not dumb” but walks around as if she is in charge and then also acts skitterish and freaked. Its stated that she is in control of culpepper but i see it the other way around. some may even say she is viewed in the worse position because if you need to cut off the head of the viewed snake………”Im the one in charge” “I love having control” ppppffftttt FORESHADOW MUCH wake up girl FFS. I cant wait to see, and hope, she is snuffed to see her break down in tears and wonder where it all went wrong. Dont ruin my dreams Game Changers. PS How does that Bitch still have full purple nail polish on? It seams she can come up with these plans but has no back ups off like 2 moves, YEAH SERIFF YEAHHHH.

Debbie

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Next week on Exile…

Playing wacko is Debbies brilliance. People view her as to crazy and weird to know what she is doing. Yet she pulls out the Ozzy BOOM. PS Told you he would be an early vote and im having flash backs to Micronesia with that look and “You are all going to fail” look with his walk out. She has not been targeted as yet, but i can see her being in focus now if the whole Ozzy target comes out. Debbie looks in a good position at this time and i believe will be taken out as a “Numbers” extra vote and to not target a main threat rather than a “We need to take out Debbie” as a threat. But brilliant move for Debbie to go Ozzy, yes maybe now we are seeing the Kho Rhong debbie and the persona we saw that got her voted out, but this shows how quirky debbie can play, make moves and do what she wants to make the game go her way.

Zeke

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Varner and Zeke in happier times

Now with a great story leaves him in a bad position in the talk of Final stories. I dont think that would come into it as he would be recognised as a great player. He is not affraid to ask the questions well, suss stuff out, and make his own moves. Watching Zeke you can see why he was asked back. He is great. PS His confessionals are great. I believe he is in a good position. He is a target however in a game like this, there is still some crazy targets about before people get to Zeke. However now he has thrown Andrea and Cirie out there, Manly Andrea, the target is getting aimed at. I see he playing social silly moves. Dont go and talk to peeps and give your loyalty and then blaintelntly go out there and throw someone under the bus. He is playing both sides HARDCORE and maybe a little to hardcore. This shows when he approaches SDT and she is shady about it and then spreads the word. CALM DOWN ZEKE.
I am just loving how this season is going, and that everyone is making alliances but keeping lines open and pretty much making decisions for their own game. So you never can tell whats going on. Ps Ozzy. Walking out as Cocky as ever. Honestly. Hands down a great player, but its like he walks in and thinks its in the bag. We saw that in the Immunity challenge where he thought it was his……..then came along golden Budda

Evo Survivor Breakdowns

Tai

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Glorious Tai

I love Tai. I love his enthusiasm, mistakes and triumphs. This gorgeous malnuritosed Buddha still has two idols! Fasicinated to see when he plays them, I cretaintly hope he does. Can he win? I hope he does but the reality of the edit suggests he falls short. Terrific to see Tai and Brad reunite and give up food to strategise, major respect for that!

Brad

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WWMD

The edit is screaming at us a few things in relation to Brad Culpepper. 1) he is a changed man and 2) he will certainly finish in the top 2. I am interested to see how things play out here for Brad. He is doing a good job at solidifying numbers and the lower the numbers get the better he looks as there are still some more strategic threats to get rid of before WWMD.

Michaela

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Dat cup

Saved by Cirie. Would love to see her go on an immunity run or make a move to dethrone some others on her way out. No chance at winning sadly, great competitior and I have enjoyed her mother/daughter bonding sessions with Cirie.

Sarah

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Sarah leaning from alliance to alliance

The Un-Smooth Criminal is getting a stack of confessionals now even though she just whinges in all of them. Why? I will tell you why, she must go far! I am still waiting for something to happen. Could she be the person who befriends the minority and ends up getting their votes at the end? Also shown crying like Brad. Final 3 written all over her.

Troyzan

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No words needed

Insert goat noise. Please play the idol Troyzan, do something. Please.

Andrea

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You know another blindside is coming

Andrea wants to make a move but has somehow found herself at the bottom of the power structures. She needs to do something drastic and quickly.

Aubry

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Aubry’s hair represents her current standing… a mess

Getting more and more narrator responsibilities as the episodes roll on. Can she win? I don’t think so. Will she shape how it all plays out? Absolutely. Aubry comes across as a genuine person who wants to live every moment.

Episode 7: Tears Of A Clown

Blog disclaimer: This episode of Survivor may bring up strong feelings and opinions of viewers. As always with our WORTH PLAYING FOR take on Survivor we aim to be light hearted. Please be aware that our response to tribal council will not be a comedic one.

NUKU

Sandra’s gone. Tai goes to his usual pre-recorded script of why he lost his mind at tribal. His efforts at explaining his brain fade over throwing Ozzy’s name up doesn’t seem to wash. However, like most returning player seasons it seems being open and honest about votes is okay! Debbie is smug due to the fact that no one knows she spoke with Cochran on Exile Island and that she has an extra vote up her lobster breeding sleeve.

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Nuku unwrapping their new player only to discover it’s Debbie!

For those playing at the home here is the lay of the idol/advantage land…

Tai – 2 x Hidden Immunity Idol

Troyzan – 1 x Hidden Immunity Idol

Debbie – 1 x Extra Vote Advantage

Sierra – 1 x Legacy Advantage & 2 x Eyebrow Advantage

With the moon glistening Zeke reassures Varner that there is still hope. Varner likes the sound of this. There seems to be a mini bond and respect between these two.

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Keeping options open

REWARD

Reward is for Pizza. With some fragile minds at current and hunger at major highs this will be an important one. Long story short… Nuku wins the carbo loading and bloated stomachs.

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Hand over the Pizza Probst!

MANA

Emotions are flowing at Mana with everyone commenting on how the game takes its toll on you. What strikes me as another tell-tale sign that Culpepper either wins or comes runner up in that the edit shows him crying! Antiques, WWMD and now CRYING! Hmmm… what other polarising male contestants have we seen cry and win before? Tyson, Tony, Mike, Adam and Jeremy spring to mind! Foreshadowing?

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IMMUNITY CHALLENGE

Water obstacles plus a puzzle… will the over consumption of pizza come back to haunt Nuku? Yes it does! Mana successfully spell METAMORPHSISISISISISISIIISSISIS on the buoy ball spelling bee and Nuku are headed to tribal… PS. Cirie dodges yet another Tribal! I look forward to more CHANGING themed challenges such as tribes building a cocoon and then lighting a fire underneath it to release the immunity butterfly!

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Immunity up for grabs

PRE TRIBAL

Varner sets his sights on ousting Ozzy. Not a bad idea as the trend of the season has been big threats going first. The snag in the plan is that Zeke, getting the honesty guilts, informs him that as much as he will do everything to save him, it’s not looking great. Varner being the cunning player that he is finds an opening. He scurries off to turn the tide against Zeke, spilling to Sarah and Andrea that they told Zeke they were going to lie to Varner. Varner’s selection of words and information leaking was well placed. Sarah doing her best dumb criminal buys it hook line and sinker! Either way Varner is throwing enough shade to raise genuine concerns about Captain Jack Sparrow and Zeke’s strategic relationship.

TRIBAL * A reminder that this will not be a comedic recount of events

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Tribal kicks off with Varner declaring he is certain that he is the next to go and then proceeds to throw all of his thoughts out on the table. Varner is making a great case until he asks Zeke why he hasn’t informed everyone that he is transgender. Zeke is silent. Probst is stunned. The onlooking Nuku throw out a number of different emotions; anger, disbelief and disgust. Probst does his best to unpack things and the majority try to unpack that Varner is misplaced and wrong in his outing of Zeke.

Varner apologises and states he only said it because he believed Zeke was out and proud. Zeke handles the situation with class and understanding. He doesn’t ask for sympathy and his demeanour and response to a challenging situation is admirable. Survivor once again does not discriminate, it encourages social discussion and understanding.

There is no need for a vote. Varner is clearly upset and realises the error of his words. Varner and Zeke hug on his exit.

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I hope this episode is remembered for the right reasons, one of them being that Zeke is a role model for all on how to handle oneself with dignity despite conflict and that all youth, regardless of their gender, sexuality or identity can look to others for guidance and strength in being comfortable in their own skin.

Craig Confession

Have a listen to Craig’s insight on the entire episode and the impact the game can take on your mind, body and soul.

Phoebe Confession

Having tuned into Craig’s podcast with Ryan, I feel compelled to echo his sentiments re the aftermath of a Survivor experience. The game significantly impacts every player for a long time after it ends. It stays with you, most certainly.  Earlier in this episode, we hear Aubry recollect her post-game experience following the first time she played and it really stood out to me. There is notable relevancy in that scene. It tells us, the audience, that this game really does impact the player’s realities after all is said and done. It really does take you places, especially emotionally (even if you’re trying to devoid yourself of all emotions for games sake). I know this to be true for myself and for many of my close friends that have played. This scene very powerfully foreshadows tribal council in that we are reminded by the players themselves how tough this game is, how deeply it affects us as people. It reinforces that we’re more than just a bunch of players in an incredible, yet crazy game.
I have never been moved to tears whilst watching Survivor before this episode. How utterly devastating for everyone involved. I cannot imagine the difficulties faced by both parties in the 9-10 months since the incident and the continued way in which this will affect their lives moving forward. Before going on Survivor, I can say that I personally  underestimated the extent to which I would be making myself subject to public perception. I was so excited to play the game that I have loved for so long that I didn’t even really consider that I’d be inviting social opinion into my life. I consider myself to be extremely resilient but there were days where it really struck me. People really do say unkind things in public forums. I think they forget they’re not talking about a character and that there’s a real person on the other end of it. I say this not to turn attention to my experience but rather to demonstrate deep empathy and I implore everyone in the community to adopt empathy too. Empathy for everyone involved. I can say without a doubt the toll of an experience such as this would be more taxing than any of us could imagine. So it’s important for all of us to extend love and support to everyone involved. No judgment, just forgiveness and love.

 VARNER DAY AFTER

ZEKE MESSAGE

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/live-feed/survivor-zeke-smith-outed-as-transgender-guest-column-991514

Episode 6: Careless Whisper

NUKU 

Aubry is startled. Sandra said it was personal booting JT, it would be strange to see her change her emotional game play now. Aubry belives she needs to learn from Sandra to advance in the game… or perhaps Aubry you could just keep doing nothing and find yourself at the end?

MANA

Tai goes looking for the idol late at night, the clue is outrageous and tells him he needs to wet a board, what on earth? He does so at the water well and starts digging. After finding the hidden anchor logo, just add water! He finds it! Tai declares that he is not in rush to play it. DANGER! DANGER! DANGER!

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Producers will now hide idols in Mermaids as Tai keeps finding them too easily

Craig Confession

Tai Tai Tai. OMG how lucky can this little man be? 3 idols is amazing. PS Luved the water/symbol/wood scenario. I do love how Tai has the balls to consider not playing his idol at Tribal. It’s like he is an idol finding machine and has this 6th sense to not play his idols. We saw it in Kho Rang and we are seeing it again. He is like a little idol buddha.

REWARD… OR IS IT?

No JT, shocked faces, Culpepper grimaces. No challenge! Everybody drop yo buffs!

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Team Loud Shirts is no longer… sheds tear

Orange will be Mana, Blue will be Nuku… Survivors cautiously open there parcels… Debbie has nothing! Debbie has no tribe, she is in the middle! TRIBE DEBBIE! Tai rejoices that three gay men are together, Varner, Zeke and him just in case you had been living under a rock.

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Tai, Zeke and Varner celebrate

NuMana is Troyzan, Michaela, Cirie, Sierra, Hali, Aubry and Culpepper

NuNuku tribe is Sandra, Sarah, Varner, Andrea, Zeke, Tai and Ozzy

Then there’s NuDebbie… going to Exile Island!

The good news – she will join her new group at the end of tribal council (the losing tribe) and can’t get voted out, bad news is that she can’t form bonds. Debbie says in her youth her and a pony would travel off alone together…

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I can only imagine this is what was running through Culpepper’s head…

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And Debbie’s response!

“Games changed again” says Probst in some weird hick creepy voice. Probst is playing better than everyone at current.

Craig Confession

Drop your Buffs. Yeeaahhhh. And we have the signiture “Im Scared” from our one and only Sierra Dawn Thomas. She cops a good eye roll from me. I bet she is having a sookie la la over “please dont take my Culpepper away” eeeehhh because HEAVENS you might have to play Sierra Dawn Thomas. And what the hell is she doing now? OW saying Jeff’s lines, I see, now she cops a FFS SHUT UP MOLE! Luv the 3 Gays on a tribe, now there is an Alliance. Of course Debbie is going to be fine on exile, she has her own exile island back home…

NuMANA 

Troyzan’s hair is out of control, as is his excitement for making it to a new tribe, some people get all the luck!

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Get that man a comb!

Brad starts the counting game again, careful Brad!

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Make it stop

He is worried that he seems to know no one but Sierra, but sees an in with Troyzan as he played with Monica. He also correctly notices that they are the only men on the tribe… Great work Columbo!

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WWMD pondering his next move

Troyzan and WWMD bro it out and Troyzan doesn’t want to be bamboozled by women again as he has nightmares of One World, don’t worry Troyzan we still have nightmares too.

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Why won’t the pain go away?

Craig Confession

Does Troyzan know what is going on? Besides continuing to blab about his idol, it doesn’t seem like he does. I also feel a foreshadow coming along. The amount he talks about his idol and how he is ok because of it, I can see him going home with the idol in his pocket. I hope it’s the women that take him out, lol!

Second fore shadow, is the Culpepper and Sierra Dawn Thomas alliance, which is now + Troyzan. Should we say end game? Or is it building to a massive episode to come where an alliance breaks apart?

NuNUKU

Varner knows he and Sandra are on the outs as it’s all Tavua plus Tai. Sandra ain’t scared, but she knows that she must keep calm, “the Queen stays blah blah blah blah blah blah blah”. Zeke wants her out. Ozzy and Zeke get giddy about creating stories to blindside Sandra. Andrea agrees that Tai is the perfect decoy.

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Zeke and Ozzy are over the moon with their dastardly illusion plan

Zeke confides in Tai that Sandra is first to go, but he worries that Tai could get wind and flip.

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Zeke and Tai rocking the Mannequin challenge

Tai is one smart cookie as he wants to look for another idol. He thinks that there might be another idol in the same place… HE GETS ANOTHER IDOL! HE HIDES THE WOODEN PLANK SYMBOL. I LOVE TAI! He is so nervous with all of this power. He has found three idols already and we aren’t even at the merge.

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Tai counts his idol finding numbers…

Craig Confession

Never Never get enough of Varner. Please Make it far Jeff, at least to the Jury. Zeke. I dont know why but I laughed when he said “They loose the Million dollars to Sandra Diaz Twine” He is good at subtle. Making people think they are making the decisions after he has planted the seed. He has his head screwed on and is so right about the Queen Sandra.

Um what happened to Andreas jeans? Are they attached at all? they look like CFMBoots. Did anyone else notice that?

EXILE ISLAND (NuDEBBIE)

Debbie is as flat as the violins being played, she will be exiled on a ship… hang on, it looks like a bloody cruise! It is a private fortress of solitude. She feasts in true Gollum fashion.

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Debbie’s ‘EXILE’ is tough conditions

Hang on… there’s a boat approaching, is that Jeff? It’s John Cochran!!!!!!! The neurotic Survivor God. He is here as a sounding board. Cochran is alrady playing better than Debbie in 5 seconds in Fiji.

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Cochran arrives just in time before Debbie’s decent into madness

Cochran tells her to mend fences with Brad and to pander to people, that will win her the game. He then gives her an advantage option. She has three options… fake hidden immunity idol kit, extra vote or tribe challenge advantage… she takes the extra vote.

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Debbie can’t hide her excitement

As much as it sucks that Debbie got this incredible reward, well done to the producers for this incredible idea!

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Cochran – “Just do the opposite of every single thought you have”

Craig Confession

I like that Exile is on a boat. Will it stay that way? I think so, but how sweet would just different and random Exile’s be? Or they alternate between the boat and a beach so if Exile stays in play and the same person is continuosly sent it’s still a gamble.

I like the “Game Changer” aspect of choose your advantage, but the whole Cochran thing was weird. What was the point of that? I know the whole give Debbie some pointers aspect but why?

I also love how Debbie is so in awe and chatty and smiling and then just bursts into sobbing that the past 2 weeks have been so hard. Didn’t she just finish sitting there saying she was dandy and in a great position? Now the question is, will Debbie lose her shit and tell everyone exactly what Exile was about?

NuNUKU 

Zeke and Varner are bonding, Zeke see’s value in Varner down the track but first he must lie to him to convince that Tai is going home. Varner buys it straight up. Varner doesn’t trust it completely but he doesn’t have a choice. Sandra sniffs around Varner, she is happy it isn’t her but she doesn’t think this adds up. Sandra stop calling yourself the Queen.

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Sandra pretending everything is okay

Craig Confession

I really hope Zeke works with Varner. My ideal would be Varner, Zeke and my Queen Cirie.

IMMUNITY

There’s water involved… I am backing Ozzy’s tribe. Dive into water, race through monkey bars, lift heavy puzzle pieces, pull them in a sled to shore, then three tribe members solve a barrel puzzle.

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The Barrel Full of Monkeys Immunity Challenge

NuMANA take an early lead, they get to the pieces first and start hauling them along, but NuNUKU start closing the gap. As they enter the strength section the game balances out. Michaela is a beast! NuMANA Sierra, Cirire and Aubry are on the puzzle. NuNUKU Zeke, Ozzy and Sandra…. Wait…. NuMANA have won! Lighting quick assembly. Puzzle smashed early.

Will it be Sandra? Or will shit turn crazy? Varenr is certain it’s Tai unless he pulls out an idol.

Craig Confession

Thank god Mana won, my Queen Cirie is safe yet again. Is she now the only one that still hasn’t gone to Tribal?

PRE TRIBAL

Tense times. Silence around camp. Zeke knows this is the time to get rid of Sandra. Sandra feels like something could go wrong. So she gets to work. She raises the Kaoh Rong three. A good argument.

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In the driver’s seat

Sandra says she will protect the strong. Sarah knows that Sandra is grooming them, wow, what a choice of words. I suppose she is a criminal now anyway. Ozzy does think that Tai is a threat. Tai notices that he isn’t being spoken too. He is nervous. Tai makes the mistake of blurting to Varner in front of Ozzy that Sandra will go. Never make Mr Arrogant Ozzy angry Tai. Sandra wants to twist things at tribal. Tai thinks he will be safe as he has two idols…. How will he play this?

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He might need to use one Idol

Craig Confession

Gosh Sandra is good. But you all know that. Working her magic is just great to watch. Sarah hits the nail on the head when she said “it feels like she is grooming us, she is calm, her voice never raises and she just starts to suck you in”.

TRIBAL

NuDebbie enters. Yawn. Andrea and Ozzy say they are debating about who goes, Ozzy does his usual acting that everyone sees through. Sandra declares that she is the one going. Tai says he is also worried and paranoid. He just hopes he is safe. Sarah has heard names and she thinks some are still open to changing their vote! Tai and Sandra whisper!!!!! Varner whispers too. It’s Ozzy as the new boot! Tai then blurts Ozzy must go to everyone. Now everyone whispers that Tai should go. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?

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I am on the edge!

Zeke then says how can he trust Tai? No one seems to want to go with Tai. Will he play the idol?? Sandra gets super cocky and says she will bury Tai as she votes. Play the idol you Tiny Gorgeous Buddha!!!

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Idol anyone?

Does anyone want to play an idol? NO! Tai just sit on his hands! AHHHHHHHHHH! Votes are read: TAI, TAI, SANDRA, SANDRA, SANDRA and SANDRA! GONE! GONE! GONE! No more Queen talk.

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After 94 days, two wins, it is all over

What the hell happened? How did Tai survive after pulling that stunt? Or are the editors holding something back?

Sandra was a wrecking ball this season, knocking out whoever she wanted and in my opinion improving her reputation as a player, seemed to make more moves this time around as compared to past seasons. It is refreshing to see Sandra humble in defeat.

Craig Confession

Another great tribal, and Sandra almost pulled it off. Using Tai’s paranoia and as soon as he tells her a name she tells everyone hahahahahaahah and then let Tai just dig his own grave. 94 DAYS and never snuffed. Tears.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Episode 5: Sugar Wars – The Empire Strikes Back

An uneventful episode where the biggest applause must go to the editors. Due to the dull nature of this one we are going to spend more time going over how the players are fairing after the recap!

MANA

Debbie goes ape shit crazy over WWMD’s leadership. I am completely and utterly confused over this sudden flip out, as is everyone on the island.

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Tai and Debbie argue over how many real professions she has had

Tai, the only person seemingly waiting to play looks for another idol and snags a clue! He stashes in his shoe and vows to search later. Go you little bald malnourished Buddha of greatness!

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Give this man a medal!

Craig Confession

DEBBIE BWHAHAHAHHAHAAHAH Omg here comes the Crazy lady. PRAISE JESUS. “I was a gymnast for 10 years”, her push ups, and her demonic face. OMG and then to point out how she thinks Hali sucks. It takes balls to lose your cool in survivor due to the possible repercussions, but God it’s great.

Culpepper. Well well well, is this some of the Dominant Brad taking over as we have seen in his previous game? It does seem like he likes to be in charge and frankly it looks like everyone is simply allowing him to do it, draws the target to his back not theirs.

NUKU

Sandra is painted out to be some superhuman manipulator by eating all of Nuku’s sugar and blaming it on Michaela. All as a ruse to cause disharmony between JT and everyone else. NEWSFLASH he has always on the bottom! The major focus on Sandra’s game can only mean she doesn’t make the merge, giving us all the highlights before her boot.

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JT guarding his sugar

JT knowing he is toast looks for and FINDS the idol! Go JT! He says to the camera that the idol will keep him in the game, let’s hope.

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Wise words

TAVUA

At Tavua they just keep rolling along, Sarah blabs on again about being a criminal this time around, so she does what all good criminals would do and tries to team up with another idiot… enter Troyzan!

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Sarah and Troyzan… The Sandy Bandits

IMMUNITY

Similar to the reward challenge Debbie yaps on for the entire challenge about how awesome she is, this time though she abuses her fellow tribe mates with passive aggressiveness… hang on, what’s the opposite of passive? Let’s just say she is OVERTLY aggressive! Insane.

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Culpepper reflects on his approach to Debbie…

In a tight finish Mana gets over the line first and it’s down to JT and Ozzy to fight it out. Ozzy narrowly defeats JT in the familiar game of catapult a bag into a series of wooden bobo dolls.

PRE TRIBAL

Heading into tribal there isn’t much to think about, and as usual, the non challenge beasts in Sandra and Varner are making all the decisions! It’s either Michaela or JT, more to the matter I can’t see how JT isn’t voted for, it’s all leading up to that one nail biting question… will JT plays his idol?

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JT has his mind solely on the sugar crisis!

TRIBAL

Tribal is about as invigorating as an Enya album, not even Jeff can make this interesting. JT appears to believe that Michaela is going home and everyone bar Aubry appears to know what is going on.

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Don’t let this faces fool you, they can’t stand Enya

Prompted by Probst (what a great band name that would be?) JT choses… NOT TO PLAY HIS IDOL. Dear Probst he is a goner. The votes are cast, Michaela receives 2, JT gets the majority of 3. Surprisingly, Sandra admits to eating the sugar, will her ego come back to bite her? Sandra struck back this week, not happy with JT’s movement with Brad.

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Bitter sweet

Hats off to JT for coming back and changing his style of play. Ironically the lack of nous in idol play was his demise again. He will be missed.

LAY OF THE LAND

With 15 Survivors left we take a look at each tribe before the upcoming swap. Which leads to a few interesting question; Will it be two tribes or three? Are they brining back Exile Island and who the hell is this returning player the promo speaks of?

TAVUA – Craig Confession

Another episode where we don’t really see much from Tavua. Why? Well obviously as they keep winning there is more pressing matters of the other tribes scrambling. Personally I am loving Tavua’s winning streak. It keeps my Favs away from the potential chopping block. 5 People who are yet to go to tribal Council by day 15 and they are all in Tavua, so some might say the game hasn’t fully begun for Tavua yet, and that can be both an advantage and a disadvantage. Very little form the Tavua tribe this week as focus was all over Sugagate, but here we go.

Andrea

I haven’t seen much from Andrea, besides an exchange with Troyzan, a narrative confessional and the GASP that Malcom went. That’s the downside of a winning team to the viewers, you don’t get to see them. Performed great in the challenge. Andrea looks to be doing a little bit of going under the radar. I think she is a lot calmer than Caramoan, where early on she started to go all paranoid. Maybe that is to come once she starts having to go to Tribal, or maybe she has learnt from past mistakes. I feel like I am waiting for a Spider to pounce, or the Cat about to swat a play toy.

Troyzan

Still eeehhhhh! But with his Idol Troyzan is going to be set up for a little while at least, well if he is smart enough to use it when required. I don’t however see him pulling a Tai and giving it to someone else. Still on the outs and viewed that way by the rest of his tribe, I believe Sarah is simply using him for his ties on the other tribes for the merge.

Sarah

“This time I am playing like a Criminal” Sarah keeps going on and on about her new “Criminal” way of playing. Is she trying to justify to herself that it’s ok to play dirty? Besides approaching Troyzan to work with him, and pretty much threatening him, Sarah is simply lucky to be on a winning tribe.

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Sarah holds her own fate in her shifty criminal like hands

Zeke

Zeke hasn’t required to start hardcore playing yet. Simply laying foundations and getting prepared. Still in a good position as he is not viewed as a threat and there are larger targets around him. I like the position Zeke is in.

Ozzy

Dominating in challenges as expected which is keeping Tavua winning rewards and away from Tribal Council. I still think Ozzy will be gone early Merge and only is around due to his team challenge prowess. His old ally JT is gone, so he will have to re-group his numbers. I think Ozzy’s only option is to be a “Shield” which is obviously not his choice, or team up with the likes of Culpepper to help defend the physical threat aspect.

Cirie

Thank gosh for the winning streak, my Queen is still in the game. It looks like the Ozzy and Cirie past game has dwindled a little, or we simply have not seen it. Cirie is going to be very happy that JT has left the game, however with JT Being the first former Nuku tribe member to go, My Queen still has people left in the game that didn’t want to play with her, lets hope new tribe dynamics helps this, I mean it looks like Debbie would happily come back and work with her. I would love to see some interaction between Sandra and Cirie. Still in hot water, I just hope her luck holds out for at least a few more weeks.

MANA – Evo Confession

Culpepper

WWMD is currently dominating. Winning challenges. Forming strong alliances. In charge of every vote. Give this man his ticket to the final three now. Ride his coat tails people!

Tai

Buffs off to Tai. He is playing hard and as opposed to Tony, trying to keep it under wraps. Can Tai win this season? Probably not unless he gets close enough to go on a challenge run. Likely to make it far if he keeps his hustle up.

Sierra

Safe as houses at current. The swap could mean things get a bit dicey for her as she is in that awkward spot of ‘not doing much, not a threat so let’s throw the votes at her to hurt Brad’s game’.

Hali

Yawn. Watch her ruin someone’s game come merge time.

Debbie

Poor Debbie is struggling mentally out there, her days are numbered if her approach doesn’t change.

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Lobster breeding is very common

NUKU – Evo Confession

Sandra

The highlights reel keeps on keeping on. Now that she has removed the last remaining previous winner in JT (surely a bucket list for her heading in) will she look to take out runner ups? Sandra’s a tough one, her ego is what fuels her game but, after three seasons it is bound to be her dowfnfall. Not many Survivors are allowed to ‘break the fourth wall’ in the final edit, but when Sandra looked at the camera dead in the eye during ‘sugargate’ I felt her days are numbered. Enjoy the ride whilst it lasts viewers.

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*Cue ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm’ Theme Song

Varner

Has blood on his hands but no one has seen it. Narrating the season and enjoying the big moves like we all are at home. Can he finally make the merge? Will he start playing his game? Let’s hope so.

Michaela

Challenge beast. I don’t think she will like the fact that Sandra played JT off against her with the sugar fiasco and look to be her own person come the swap. She needs to shelve her attitude as even she knows it will lead to a torch snuffing.

Aubry

If anyone needs the tribe swap it is Aubry, she has been on the bottom and out of the loop since day one and needs a fresh start. She’s too smart to not make the most of a second chance. Get moving Aubry!

Goodbye JT…

Episode 4: WHO’S ON FIRST?

Mana arrive back in the dark and Tai is glad not to be in the dark, proving his worth by removing Caleb. Tai declares that he is playing with his head and then struggles to locate it.

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Tai used so much sand last week he lost his own head.

Debbie is wearing Monica 2.0’s hat. Hang on! She is wearing Culpepper’s hat? Clothes sharing = tight bonds.

Craig Confession

Bless Tai, he voted out his man crush. Poor thing and now can’t find his head. Are we actually getting to see some Hali game? Finally, here she comes. Lets see how long it lasts as honestly it’s about time gurl, finally you did more than just batter those big blues.

I’m loving Debbie. She has totally come in here with a new game plan and is sticking to it. Luv the approach of no previous game ties. She is so good to watch. Although I am missing the Debbie confessionals of “The Swiss Army Knife Debbie”. 

WHERE HAS THIS CULPEPPER BEEN? I apologies to people that knew from before, I dont think it’s WWMD anymore as that woman never played as good as you. Go Brad. Yes Phe O Be I am turning (no pun).

OMG I luv Survivor. After that “Bitch stole my idol” i have finally gotten my flame back and am really loving this season and being able to bring my opinion to all of you. PS. Welcome Mr Iadanza, how delicious, lets just hope he doesn’t talk about that time we voted him out of Vavau xxxx

REWARD

In a blink of an eye we’re off to reward. Team Loud Shirts and Team JT’s Screwed are stunned to not see Caleb’s chiseled bod walking in.

What’s on offer for reward? A colonic cleansing by the looks of all the coffee provided by Probsty. If that isn’t unsettling enough Jeff says only two people form each tribe will compete… All of the meatheads bar plant head Tai compete. They must balance a ball on a pole, go through a balance course and then throw sand bags at totems.

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Coffee moves quickly

Ozzy, JT and Tai run the course with Tavua getting through first, closely followed by Nuku. Malcolm blitzes the sandbag throwing for Nuku and they rejoice in the idea of shitting their pants for the next 24 hours. Languishing behind WWMD goes ape shit and somehow beats Troyzan to the punch! Troyzan has made himself public enemy number one.

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Tai – “Wax on Culpepper son”

Craig Confession

God I would have killed for a coffee in Samoa, JLP Get on it. I love the challenges, but honestly, how hardcore are the ones that single out the people that have to perform, and the people that dont? Typical Ozzy Mr I can do everything. Ow wait, he dropped it, he is human. Troyzan is still a dick. I’m sorry, he just is. lucky he has an idol as he keeps digging his grave. Malcom is a subtle Ozzy isnt he? Just without the jungle man, climb palm trees vibe.

TAVUA

Ozzy makes the grievous error of a Survivor competitor by saying he feels “confident” and that they “need” him. He then goes on to claim that he doesn’t want to toot his own horn… and then… TOOT HIS OWN HORN.

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Calm down Ozzy!

NUKU

Sandra is on cloud 9 thanks to the caffeine hit and her uncontrollable ego, “I’m running the show”. JT has other plans and conspires with Malcolm to oust Sandra.

Craig Confession

Ozzy “Not to toot my own horn” please that’s all you do, HELLO! BE HUMBLE. I agree with Andrea and that seeing Ozzy in action would be amazing and the whole WTF DO YOU COME FROM but he needs to take a breath and just stop the “Ozzy I’m Amazingness”

Coffee and Sugar do wonders. Is it smart for JT to throw the only other winners name out there? Well it’s good he can see Sandra’s control, but it’s also GREAT and shows that pre-winners don’t really come into thinking anymore like they did in All Stars. GAME EVOLUTION!

IMMUNITY

This episode is moving at break neck speed, all of a sudden we’re at immunity. Slow down Probst, slow down camera men with all of the quick zooming lenses, my head is spinning!

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Ozzy is ready!

Ozzy Long Stockings hands back immunity and Probst lays it all on the line… there will be one caller per team whilst everyone else is blindfolded so they can injure their groins and strain vocal chords. Cruel… cruel challenge. Once the bruising in their genitals subsides and the blindfolded duos locate hanging ropes, Nickelodeon goo will be released and some balls for the inevitable puzzle maze.

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Zeke collects the balls

If that isn’t enough Probst drops the bomb…

“By the way guys… TWO TRIBES WILL GO TO TRIBAL!”

Sweet Jesus.

Varner, Cirie and Culpepper do their best local market butchers impression by bellowing out advice. Although I think Varner thinks he is on the set of a Ron Jeremy film, he just keeps on shouting “Haul Ass” every five seconds. Nuku and Tavua get to the puzzle first, Ozzy has done this maze before against Cochran in South Pacific and on heals of JT, both all stars land a ball. Mana are not even a chance of winning and decide that Sierra and Hali are the way to win… sigh. In a nail biting finish it is up to Varner and Andrea to take home the hero title. Varner stumbles at the last second and Andrea takes it home for Team Loud Shirts! Varner cries, Mana sighs.

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Easy Chewie

HOLD YOUR BUFFS! WHAT THE HELL! JEFF YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARD!

Both tribes will go to tribal together, all eleven of them will sit together and vote only one person out. Survivor first. Jeff just Game Changed the Game Changers!

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You sexy genius

Craig Confession

UMMMMM Noticed that 2nd place idol is simply a bit of rope on a boat tie…………….where has the Symbolism gone JEFF?

God I’m glad we never had to do the traditional Survivor Challenge of blind folded shit, my groin hurts just thinking of the possibilities. Even though I would have been the SCREAMING voice. I do have to say though, I love these challenges and wish we did have one in Samoa. Ow look at Sierra Dawn Thomas step up. Go Bitch Go, show them why your here. Told you Andrea was good Troyzan you dick. Poor Varner. He is so good, the disappointment on his face is so shit. I don’t think he needs to worry, but hey… its Survivor.

OMG ONE GROUP ONE PERSON! God they know how to do it don’t they. BRILLIANT SURVIVOR; never saw that coming. I honestly thought it would be a Nick and Connor 2.0

PRE TRIBAL

NUKU

Malcolm says something about playing the game on paper. Yawn. Sandra knows they must stick together and vote 6-5. Varner knows this is the time for an individual to go silly. JT discusses options with Malcolm. Why is no one looking for an idol?

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Nuku waiting for someone to tell them what to do

MANA

Culpepper refers to Hali as “Blue Eyes”… not sure Monica would have been a misogynistic pig Brad. He then yaps on about death row and bonding. Sandra must go according to WWMD and he believes that JT will know what he is thinking. Dangerous! Hali thinks she has options now. Hali you don’t. You are here for pure annoyance factor.

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Hali – Blue Eyes

FINALLY someone looks for an idol and of course it’s Tai. I am fist pumping. Go Tai! He finds the clue and then the idol “You never give up!” says the bald beauty. Damn straight. Sierra says she is terrified and I am terrified of her eyebrows.

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It’s getting silly now Sierra…

Craig Confession

It’s very simply on paper, but papers the only place its simple. That should be written into the Survivor bible. Ryan V D Brink you onto that? EEEHHHHH The mistake of thinking nobody has an idol, learnt that the hard way.

Who do you think Brad will target. Wow. Culpepper is a clear player in these peoples minds. To the point of in control. Did I just absolutely miss this Brad in Blood vs. Water? It’s honestly a new person and I am enjoying it. Although to be a known power player already and on peoples radar is a shit thing. You never trust a flipper Hali!

That little Asian Chicken man is amazing. How do some people get so blessed with finding IDOLS. FFS. It pisses me off. THEN HE TELLS EVERYONE? God what a move. It is such a hard decision to do something like that. I mean I had a clue and pondered telling people continuously, but to have an actual idol and spill the beans. He has balls and I think it was a really good move. 1 it helps your numbers and 2 subconsioulsy bonds you with your tribe and makes them have a warm fuzzy about you.

TRIBAL

Eleven torches. Eleven buffs. Eleven anxious Survivors. Malcolm does his usual obvious statements. Culpepper goes full western talk and drops the “Mexican stand off” analogy which is expectedly met by Sandra’s mobster analogy of the “guns being pointed at demselves”. Culpepper tries to Inception JT by saying the biggest threat needs to go… Nudge nudge, wink wink, Sandra Sandra. Debbie says Hali may flip. I have no idea what the hell is going on, all I know is nobody likes Hali.

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Go away Hali

What transpires next is the worst effort of a game of Chinese Whispers you will ever see. Resembling an Abbott and Costello routine everyone is whispering to everyone and throwing up twenty different scenarios! This is insane. Probst is speechless. Aubry talking about carrier pigeons actually is the most logical thing that transpires. How on earth can carrier pigeons be the most logical thing. JT tells Brad that they are voting for Sierra amongst the chaos.

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What on earth is going on?

Hali then ensconces herself as the most disliked Survivor in history by telling Jeff Probest she is not ready to vote. NO ONE PUTS JEFF IN THE CORNER! NO ONE!

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Culpepper disapproves of Hali

They go to vote. Culpepper is voting for the best player in the game. Varner says he will soil himself if this person has an idol, just a word of advice Varner, it ain’t the idol making you shit yourself it’s all that coffee!

The votes are about to be read… TAI STANDS UP… AHHHHHHH… HE PLAYS THE IDOL ON SIERRA! Sandra looks like the coffee has finally moved through her lower intestine. No one knows what the hell is going on.

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Idol in yo face!

Votes are read… Eyebrows, Eyebrows, Dear lord Tai guessed right the bald genius, Eyebrows, Eyebrows, Eyebrows, Eyebrows, Malcolm! Malcolm! Malcolm! Someone get me a cold towel!

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Malcolm takes it well…

Malcolm says he could vomit and so could I. Only difference is mine is through sheer excitement.

I need to lie down.

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Malcolm on his way out…

Craig Confession

What a true TRIBAL. I love the conniving and in play chat. THATS WHAT TRIBAL SHOULD BE. Screw this whole “I cant fight for my life” #talkattribal DO IT. So good. I would be pissing myself at this tribal. WTF is going to happen! No wonder Sierra Dawn Thomas is looking like a deer in headlights. PS Does she know her eyebrows look like that? PS WTF JT? Lets tell them? Does nobody remember he gave his idol to Russell? HELLO! Bitch just threw his tribe under the bus so slit the Bitches throat. This is one of the best Tribal Councils ever.

I DIDNT CONSENT? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Hali you silly Mole. Wait WAIT WTF IS HAPPENING NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO I didn’t expect this. This is shit. Looks like Varner is going to shit himself. It should have been JT. But does this show how good of a player he is and a player that makes mega risky moves? YES. FAAARRKKKKKK Sorry Malcolm you poor bastard, I feel like I am going to be sick also. Can’t wait to see the reaction next week.

PS CULPEPPER WHERE HAVE YOU COME FROM? Do It! Do It! Tip my hat to you. Culpepper made Tai’s idol play happen and shows he has evolved and my turning is so much more. APPLAUSE TO YOU CULPEPPER. Although I am going to vomit too, JT – Culpepper played you STUPID BITCH.  God do you think he has learned to SHUT HIS MOUTH? No. JT GO like NOW. This just shows you how amazing and brutal this game can be with Malcom going. Did any off you think he would? I bet NO.

PPS I am sorry i am having Deja Vu……………………Idol played………………………random go home………………………….Damn you Phe O Be!

GUEST POWER RANKER: NICK IADANZA (Australian Survivor)

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Nick Iadanza joins us this week as Phoebe is getting her life together for her big interstate move. Having a Superfan like Nick onboard to take us through the power distribution is a blast. Enjoy!

MANA

1. Tai

My winner pick. I think he has built up some real capital in the game with his honesty with the idol and his willingness to play a team game and share it. If I was Sierra I would be hitching my wagon to him after he saved my life in the game.

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2. Sierra

A lot of my points here revolve around the preview for next week. It seems a lot of heat is heading Brad’s way so that would drop him and raise his second in command. I also think Hali seems closest to Sierra now because of the tribal shenanigans and that’s good for ‘Fan Favourite’ SDT

3. Brad

His positive edit thus far bodes well for him so the fact I have him so low is only because of the preview for next week. PS- how excited where you all when we saw the return of Culpepper maths!

4. Hali

Voting with the group puts her in a OK spot, but some of her cagey comments about voting out threats, and not ‘consenting’ to vote yet might make her Mana tribemates still feel a little sketchy. Her matching tattoo with Sierra might be enough to keep her from the bottom spot.

5. Debbie

Based only on the preview and how pissed she seems. I have a feeling we will leave the episode with more ‘poor Debbie’ than ‘crazy Debbie’. Watch this space

NUKU

1. Sandra

ALL HAIL MY QUEEN!!! We’re not worthy! I was so convinced she was going. But at this point I feel the editors like making her the decoy vote because we are all so invested in her surviving. She has the balls to say she’s calling the shots (which she is) and still was not the #1 target for Mana. AND THAT’S WHY SHE’S THE QUEEN! Now let’s all sacrifice a baby goat in her honour.

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2. Varner

Seems closest to Sandra and I reckon that’s a good place to be… for now.

3. Michaela

I’m surprisingly indifferent to Michaela and that’s why she’s nestled in right in the middle for me. Not good. Not bad.

4. Aubry

Her edit is so inconsequential this season that it makes me sad. I have a feeling she won’t be around for much longer

5. JT

The Queen has you in her sights JT and your ‘Aw Shucks’ country charm won’t wash with our Mother of Dragons. She’s going to have you walking the plank like she did Thunder D back in Pearl Islands. Adios!

TAVUA

1. Troyzan

With that crotch idol he surely can’t be going next.

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2. Ozzy

IT SUCKS but I see him getting the better of Cirie in this heavily referenced feud. Anyone else OVER Ozzy and his God-like fishing skills? I went out a bunch of times with the flippers and the Hawaiian Sling and all I caught were tonnes of scratches all over my body from the coral. He makes me feel so inadequate. Someone vote him out already!

3. Zeke

Meh. Great confessionals but nothing to go on thus far this season

4. Sarah

Inconsequential so hard to say. Her only good confessional was one where she talked about duping Cirie. YOU KEEP YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF MY BAE!

5. Cirie

Until I see Probst hand over that million dollar cheque at a finale I will stress about Cirie’s position in the game. Who in their right mind will let her slip through the net once she’s got her butt on one of those Tribal Council stumps? She’s benefitted so far from a good winning streak but it’s just such a long uphill battle for her to get to the end. #prayforCirie

6. Andrea

The conversation with Troyzan last week seemed like too much foreshadowing for me. Her going home seems the only thing that will save Cirie from the chopping block. I LOVE me some Andrea, but if it’s between her and everyone’s favourite Couch Potato turned Jedi mind warrior, sorry Boehlke.

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Snake out!

MALCOLM EXIT

Thanks to Nick for jumping in this week! For someone who has always disliked Malcolm I found this exit interview to be raw, honest and a side that we don’t usually get to see. The pain he expresses is real and a great insight into how Survivor can take a toll on you more so mentally than physically.