Episode 12: Player Ranking – The Suspects

A crime is imminent, a grand theft of a million dollars, and dare I say, of the hearts of viewers everywhere. The countdown has nearly expired. Here are the suspects:

 

Prime Suspect

Tony Vlachos, aka Big T, T Bone, The Copfather, Tony Diesel

While sources suggest his associates have put a hit out on him, Vlachos remains our prime suspect. Our investigation team is unsure of how Mr Vlachos could pull off a job of this magnitude while he is being targeted by fellow criminals, but we have learned over the last few months NEVER to count him out of the fight.

 

tonyface

Master of disguise

 

Occupation:  Cop/fake construction worker/Llama

Strengths: Playing Survivor, lying, eating pizza, rocking a bandana, shack building

Weaknesses: Paranoia, ego, slide puzzles

Family status: Investigators have been unable to reliably confirm whether Vlachos has one or more wives, husbands, girlfriends or boyfriends, one or more babies of either gender, or, indeed, even if he has parents.

Known associates: Vlachos has an extensive network or connections, many of whom believe he has sworn his loyalty to them. While he may have disciples, Vlachos, like all dangerous men, does not have any real friends. He trusts no one enough to work with them on this heist.

 

The Contender

Spencer Bledsoe, aka Spence, Young Man

Profilers have been surprised to see Bledsoe rise through the criminal ranks due to his unpleasant personality and awkward facial expressions, but his chess expertise and physical abilities have seen him pull off some impressive feats. Mr Bledsoe would not be the first unlikeable thief to take the million and our grudging respect.

in my mouth

Occupation: Student, since debate continues as to whether ‘Chess Expert’ is a real job

Strengths: Winning when it counts, doing puzzles

Weaknesses: Facial expressions, keeping his mouth shut, humility

Family status: Single, we can only assume

Known associates: All of Bledsoe’s previous gang members have fallen, victims of the ongoing bloodshed of Survivor. He has an uneasy alliance with one Kass McQuillen and has made overtures towards Woo Hwang, but we believe he will make his attempt on the millions alone.

 

The Underdog

Woo Hwang, aka The Ninja, Hunter of Papayas

It is surprising to see someone as likeable and harmless as Mr Hwang considering a crime of this nature, we consider him something of a fish out of water. Fellow criminals are unlikely to want to team up with him due to his honesty and vulnerability but should he find himself facing the safe, millions on view, we believe he may be capable of previously unseen cunning. No one can really be that relaxed, RIGHT?

Woo-hoo!

Woo-hoo!

 

Occupation: Martial Arts Instructor, please note this may be cover for his true occupation as a Ninja

Strengths: Looks, climbing, balance, finding clues in pants, entertaining children, stealth

Weaknesses: Puzzles, seriously guys, he cannot do puzzles

Known associates: Tony, and children all over the world

 

Not a Suspect

Kass McQuillen, aka Chaos Kass, Llama

Agents, if you see Kass McQuillen, do not be alarmed, she is not considered a suspect. Let her go about her business.

ChaosKassfinal

 

 

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Episode 9 – Player Rankings

1. Tony – Tony has complete power over the rest of the players with his discovered immunity Idol w/ special powers.  Now in order to be booted from the game, he has to be voted off twice.  Will not happen.  Tony is unstoppable.  

2. Everybody else.  Seriously.  I am a little bit sore that the special idol has this much power and that Tony found it with few to no clues.  

I predict that Tony makes it to final Four.  He will mostly likely take along his core alliance of 4 (Woo, Trish and Kass).  Spencer and Tash could make it if they keep performing the way that they have at immunity challenges.  Jefra will be cannon fodder.

The only chance that anybody other than Tony has to win, is to somehow win over the jury.  Maybe somebody more likeable can take it, but nobody will be able to deny that Tony has played this the game (at least so far) the hardest and made as many big moves as he has.  It will all depend on how the jury will choose to vote.  I predict that Tony has this in the bag.  I hope that I’m wrong, if only for the sake of entertainment.  

Episode 8: Player Ranking

Things are getting so real, guys. We’ve got blindsides, paranoia, new idols in play, SPECIAL idols still to be found, and only eight players left in the game. So let’s be honest with each other, let’s sit down and really get deep. There are five votes to go, that means, assuming no twists from my buddy Jeff, five more immunity challenges and five more reward challenges. Any player that has not yet made some big moves has to step up and fast. There is time to turn it around but not much. For this week’s player ranking, I’m lining up our tribe members in two groups, those who could win if they make it to the final vote, and those who haven’t yet done enough. I’m not saying any of these loveable loons WILL make it the end, but if they do, these are the kids you don’t want to be up against.

Players who have made win-worthy moves

Tony

I willingly admit that Tony has been in control of this game for a long time in the face of all logic. I think the others are dummies if they don’t get rid of him at the next available opportunity, but if for some reason he sneaks through – he’s basically unbeatable at the final based on the game up to this point.

Trish

Trish can make a compelling argument that she has been strategising almost as much as Tony. She gets my imaginary council vote based almost entirely on her swaying of Kass’ vote a few weeks ago. This was smart play. She would lose against Big T in a vote but anyone else would face an uphill battle against her.

Kass

I don’t think her moves were good ones long-term, but she has made big votes at a key time of the game. She made decisions that shifted the balance of power undeniably. I would be disappointed to see #ChaosKass with the million but I do think she’s a contender at the moment. She could win if she was standing next to some of the weaker players.

 

Players who have to do more in the next five weeks

Jefra

My favourite party-pooper would have to REALLY play hard to have any chance of winning. Honey, you seem awfully nice but you have done nothing memorable since you talked about your peeing and pooping habits. Wake up.

Jeremiah

The newly-named human mop (love it, Evo) needs to get out from Spencer’s shadow and play. He could help blindside Tony to stand a fighting chance, or perhaps check-mate the Chessmaster Spence himself. Just stop drawling about moves and make one.

Woo

I like Woo a lot. He’s bad at puzzles but otherwise a good contributor in physical challenges and by all accounts he’s pretty likeable. I count #ninjastealthmode and the #madtreasurehunt and moves on his score sheet but it’s not enough. Stop trusting Tony, Woo.

Tasha

I’m sure many would disagree with me but I would argue that Tasha HAS made moves. They were just too long ago to matter, and not enough people on the jury were around to see them. I think she’s a smart player and has the potential to step back up and seize an opportunity.

Spencer

I don’t know, guys. I find Spencer ridiculous in the extreme, and fairly unlikeable, but I will grudgingly allow that he is one of the two or three most capable of moving into a winning spot. Things would need to change but Spencer doesn’t seem like a complete moron (*cough*Jeremiah*cough*).

EPISODE 7 – WINNERS & LOSERS AND PLAYER RANKINGS

A combined effort this week between Katie and Evo.

WINNERS & LOSERS

Winners

  1. Tony’s pillow talk

Referring to Morgan as ‘pillow or person’, best line of the season so far!

 

  1. Woo aka Ninja

Incredibly switched on this episode. Ninja stealth mode meets Sonic the Hedgehog… almost pulled off the unthinkable.

 

  1. Spencer’s decision of seating

Funny how the underdog stumbled across the clue. Regardless, top job on finding the idol after his brain fade.

Losers

  1. Morgan

Her tribal council confession was just pathetic. Good riddance.

 

  1. Spencer

Individual immunity and an idol no one knows he has. Trish basically blurts out that they are voting out Morgan… What does Spencer do? Sits on his idol. Another number gone in his alliance. Big moves win the game. Why not approach Kass earlier and say ‘I have the idol, let’s turn this game on its head’ or even give his immunity necklace away at the start of tribal to get some heads spinning?

 

  1. NuSolana alliance

Was Morgan the best vote? I feel the longer the Brains members stick around the greater the chance for Kass to flip back.

 

PLAYER RANKINGS

We are ranking under the proviso of ‘who is most likely’ to be sitting in front of the jury come the finale…

  1. LJ

The forgotten man. In a very good place due to the fact that no one is targeting him.

 

  1. Jefra

If LJ is at the end, she will be sitting next to him.

 

  1. Trish

Has made some bold moves and has established a solid core alliance.

 

  1. Tony

Should win, but surely he can’t? He is already being targeted and his tribe mates don’t even know half of what he has been able to achieve.

 

  1. Woo

Dropped from last week due to the fact his ‘ninja stealth mode’ highlighted his cunningness. Plus, at the pointy end, would you want to sit next to the smiling assassin?

 

  1. Kass

Could very well have a chance to plead a case to the jury. Will just depend on when she flips again (there is no doubt about her flipping again as it is her only way to be dragged to the end)

 

  1. Spencer

Well, well, well, if it isn’t Mr Napkin… The idol will buy him a week, however he does come across as the type who could be sent packing without playing it.

 

  1. Tasha

Disappointing to see her game come to a grinding halt. Needs to get moving, with a bit of luck (or ‘chaos’) she could slug it out a bit longer.

 

  1. Jeremiah

Put a cowboy hat on him and he could pass for Rick of South Pacific’s son. Outofmind. Outofsight. Outofgame.

EPISODE 6 – PLAYER RANKINGS

Wow. Just, wow.

What an episode!

I am fearful the new idol that will be introduced will be the one Yul had in Cook Islands, where immunity can be played AFTER the vote. If this happens, the season could be ruined. With that in mind… I am looking at this weeks rankings purely from ‘a best chance to win’ perspective, before it has been tainted by some super idol.

Top 5 Baby!

Top 5 Baby!

1. Woo

In a fantastic position. Tony and LJ have bigger targets on their backs. Will win his fair share of immunities and is a genuinely nice person. Of the NuSolana group he would get the most votes from the jury.

Smiling Assasin

Smiling Assasin

2. LJ

Is playing a very cautious game currently. Has a solid alliance and is very capable when it comes to earning people’s trust. His idol giveaway to Tony was a strategic move on two accounts, 1) Covering bases and 2) Solidifying trust.

3. Tony

It is going to be so painful when he is eventually voted out. Hands down the best player so far. Admittedly, he plays the game so hard that this may actually become his downfall. However, if anyone can do it, T Bone can!

Dynamic Duo

Dynamic Duo

4. Trish

She is like a mobsters wife. Tony will gather all the animosity from the ousted contestants whilst Trish washes the blood off her hands in private. Can she win? I am not sold as she does rub people up the wrong way. Although, if she sits next to Kass at the end… things might be different.

5. Spencer

A nerdy version of Malcolm F. He is here on a hunch. Spencer’s edit is one of an underdog. How many times can things not go his way? I personally can’t stand the guy, he sooks to much and has been outplayed at nearly every tribal. But! I am sure there are a number of fans who are rooting for him. Will the producers ‘conveniently’ throw the super idol his way?

6. Jefra

She is nice? I’ve got nothing much to back this one up other than she is on the right side currently.

7. Morgan

Out of mind, out of sight. She may just slink (or bounce) her way to the end.

And the boot list order is...

And the boot list order is…

8. Tasha

Would be a sad end to the season if she won.

9. Jeremiah

Will be picked off at some stage. Doesn’t seem to have any alliance on either side.

10. Kass

Feeling vindicated after predicting her flip a few weeks back. My worry is she is going to keep flipping her way to the end and be this years goat. Safe to say that whoever finds the super idol she will side with. I will say that despite my dislike for Kass I find all the hate directed at her to be a bit unfair. Her tribe sucked up to Sarah and cast her out, resulting in her vote being made on both emotion and security.

Hell hath no fury like a Brain scorned

Hell hath no fury like a Brain scorned

Episode 5 – Player Rankings (Sarcastic Edition)

1. Jeremiah
Listen Jeremiah, It’s most likely that you’re going to win.  Try not to intimidate your fellow players with your plethora of skills.  You have a tendency to play the social game a bit too aggressively and you often over think a situation.

2. Woo
Bro, I’m telling you.  You don’t even need an alliance.  Don’t worry about it.  I can tell that you’re the next challenge champion, only rivalled by the great former-player Ozzy.  I predict smooth sailing all the way to the final 4.

3. Spencer
Your analysis is always welcome and your conclusions are always spot on.  Out of the remaining Brain Tribe, you are likely seen as the least threatening.  That should help you fly under the radar if your core alliance of 3 ever comes under attack.

4. Tony
Good move bragging about each of your sneaky plays.  That was a great way to build trust. Maybe try not to be so humble next time you discuss your latest antics.   It’s your confidence and cunning that will help you secure your alliances for the long haul.

5. Jefra
Staying in the middle of the pack and riding people’s coat tails is a good way to convince a jury that you deserve to win the million.  We’ve seen it over and over again with past winners.  Let’s not be hasty Jefra and make any decisions.  You can’t afford to stand out.

6. Morgan
Who needs friends?  Just point fingers until there’s nobody else to point at.  You’ve just become the newest winner of Survivor (with a Playboy magazine deal to boot!)

7. Kass
“Zombiemaster” can outplay the best of ’em.  I can see her making the final four and hypnotizing the jury with a long-winded explanation about blah, blah, blah, anything and everything.   Also, she’s a physical powerhouse.

8.Trish
This delicate flower started on the wrong tribe.  She’s a beauty in my books.  If she wants to go all the way in this contest, she should convince more players to volunteer quitting.

9.  Tasha
I don’t think that being mostly forgettable will hurt you too badly moving forward.

10. Sarah
Please team back up with Tony.  I’m positive that it will do you a lot of good.

11. LJ
Having an immunity idol weighs heavily on a player’s mind.  I feel that LJ should throw his back into the ocean.  Also, dump Trish.  She seems like the type to get over things quickly.

Episode 4: Tribal council & player ranking

Tribal Council

tribal council

On first viewing of this episode I thought this was a really action packed council session, and don’t get me wrong, it IS a nail biter but the actual Q&A from our Jeff is actually pretty bland on second viewing. Everyone is reading from the usual Survivor script.

Minority player on new tribe: “The person on the bottom should flip”

Majority player on new tribe: “Numbers are important, we should all stay loyal”

The producers would have us believe that this is Tony’s big flip, but Tony doing something nutso is par for the course. For me the more exciting question is whether or not LJ plays his idol or not. It says a lot about his confidence and his game-play style. The reason I don’t really see this as Tricia and Tony’s big move is A) they’re not making it for strategic or ‘strategical’ reasons whatever Tony may claim but mostly because Tricia does not like Cliff and does like LJ, even Tony admits the idea of not sticking with their numbers is crazy (and when Tony says something is crazy…) and B) because I personally think it’s a dumb move. I get that Cliff is a threat, of course he is, plus there is the usual resentment players have against the competitors they see as having ‘had their shot’ at a million dollars (sidenote, I find this attitude so dumb, like only people who ‘deserve’ a million dollars should win) but I see LJ as just as big of a threat, if not more so since he’s an unknown who for all they know has an idol. But that’s just my two cents.

So we go in with this story of Tricia, LJ, and I suppose tag-along Jefra vs the Brawn originals, Lindsey, Woo, and my favourite big man, Cliff, with Officer Not-a-Cop as the swing vote. Things play out as I mentioned, with Tricia telegraphing her vote big time.

My two favourite moments are LJ’s metaphor of him and Jefra selling their home to the Brawn tribe members. He’s a smooth talker. I don’t like him (I still bear a grudge for the hot v cute comments) but I admit he’s playing it smooth at council, and another great metaphor from Cliff, tribal council is like the first time you lose a playoff game in the series and then find out what you’re made of.

The players read their usual lines, intermittently looking up at the rain soaking them. We zoom in on our leading man, LJ, as he screws up his beautiful cowboy face in apparent indecision and decides, evidently, NOT to play his idol. The fact that LJ doesn’t play his idol either means he was a lot more confident than the pre-council footage suggests, or that he’s an idiot. I know an idol has an increasing value as the game goes on but do you know what an idol that stays in your pocket until the tribe speaks and Jeff snuffs out that torch is worth? Ask my buddy Garret.

So my tl;dr summary? Bad move for Tony and Tricia, good move for viewers looking for some action. I liked Cliff but he always had a target on his back, this leaves us with poor surprised Woo and hairdresser Lindsey fighting their way up from the bottom.

Oohhhh shit.

Oohhhh shit.

After we lose the towering Cliff, let’s look at the new tribes and where I think the players stand.

Player Rankings

Solana

  1. LJ
  2. Tony (Would Sarah have kept you from this recklessness you beautiful bald wildcard?)
  3. Tricia (Where is she from again? I wanna say Minnesota…)
  4. Jefra
  5. Lindsey (she scrapes in above Woo for correctly predicting that Tricia would flip on them)
  6. Woo

Aparri

  1. Tasha
  2. Kass (I disagree with my learned fellow blogger, Evo, I think Kass is playing a good game)
  3. Spencer (dude, I want to start seeing some moves)
  4. Sarah (hang in there friend, I think you’ll do better away from the influence of Tony)
  5. Alexis
  6. Morgan (I just can’t see you being able to prove your value enough or manipulate anyone well enough to survive for too much longer)
  7. Jeremiah (who nearly missed out on appearing on this list at all due to me forgetting he exists – I don’t think he’ll be so lucky when competitors are writing votes at tribal)