Episode 4 – Winners & Losers

Most Random Combination of Items

Winner: Giant Pencil / Gong

Winner: Giant Pencil / Gong

Loser: Bamboo / Coconut Laddle

Loser: Bamboo / Coconut Laddle

Most Flattering Representation of an Alternative Sport

womens mma

Winner: Women’s Mixed Martial Arts

Loser: Yoga

Loser: Yoga

Best Example of Loyalty and Team Work

Winner: Fucking Boston

Winner: The Fucking Bostonians

Losers: The High School Mean Girls

Losers: The High School Mean Girls

The Greatest Love Story, ever.

Winner: Lindsey + Fire

Winner: Lindsey + Fire

bromance 1

Loser: Woo / Cliff = Splitsville

Episode 4: Tribal council & player ranking

Tribal Council

tribal council

On first viewing of this episode I thought this was a really action packed council session, and don’t get me wrong, it IS a nail biter but the actual Q&A from our Jeff is actually pretty bland on second viewing. Everyone is reading from the usual Survivor script.

Minority player on new tribe: “The person on the bottom should flip”

Majority player on new tribe: “Numbers are important, we should all stay loyal”

The producers would have us believe that this is Tony’s big flip, but Tony doing something nutso is par for the course. For me the more exciting question is whether or not LJ plays his idol or not. It says a lot about his confidence and his game-play style. The reason I don’t really see this as Tricia and Tony’s big move is A) they’re not making it for strategic or ‘strategical’ reasons whatever Tony may claim but mostly because Tricia does not like Cliff and does like LJ, even Tony admits the idea of not sticking with their numbers is crazy (and when Tony says something is crazy…) and B) because I personally think it’s a dumb move. I get that Cliff is a threat, of course he is, plus there is the usual resentment players have against the competitors they see as having ‘had their shot’ at a million dollars (sidenote, I find this attitude so dumb, like only people who ‘deserve’ a million dollars should win) but I see LJ as just as big of a threat, if not more so since he’s an unknown who for all they know has an idol. But that’s just my two cents.

So we go in with this story of Tricia, LJ, and I suppose tag-along Jefra vs the Brawn originals, Lindsey, Woo, and my favourite big man, Cliff, with Officer Not-a-Cop as the swing vote. Things play out as I mentioned, with Tricia telegraphing her vote big time.

My two favourite moments are LJ’s metaphor of him and Jefra selling their home to the Brawn tribe members. He’s a smooth talker. I don’t like him (I still bear a grudge for the hot v cute comments) but I admit he’s playing it smooth at council, and another great metaphor from Cliff, tribal council is like the first time you lose a playoff game in the series and then find out what you’re made of.

The players read their usual lines, intermittently looking up at the rain soaking them. We zoom in on our leading man, LJ, as he screws up his beautiful cowboy face in apparent indecision and decides, evidently, NOT to play his idol. The fact that LJ doesn’t play his idol either means he was a lot more confident than the pre-council footage suggests, or that he’s an idiot. I know an idol has an increasing value as the game goes on but do you know what an idol that stays in your pocket until the tribe speaks and Jeff snuffs out that torch is worth? Ask my buddy Garret.

So my tl;dr summary? Bad move for Tony and Tricia, good move for viewers looking for some action. I liked Cliff but he always had a target on his back, this leaves us with poor surprised Woo and hairdresser Lindsey fighting their way up from the bottom.

Oohhhh shit.

Oohhhh shit.

After we lose the towering Cliff, let’s look at the new tribes and where I think the players stand.

Player Rankings


  1. LJ
  2. Tony (Would Sarah have kept you from this recklessness you beautiful bald wildcard?)
  3. Tricia (Where is she from again? I wanna say Minnesota…)
  4. Jefra
  5. Lindsey (she scrapes in above Woo for correctly predicting that Tricia would flip on them)
  6. Woo


  1. Tasha
  2. Kass (I disagree with my learned fellow blogger, Evo, I think Kass is playing a good game)
  3. Spencer (dude, I want to start seeing some moves)
  4. Sarah (hang in there friend, I think you’ll do better away from the influence of Tony)
  5. Alexis
  6. Morgan (I just can’t see you being able to prove your value enough or manipulate anyone well enough to survive for too much longer)
  7. Jeremiah (who nearly missed out on appearing on this list at all due to me forgetting he exists – I don’t think he’ll be so lucky when competitors are writing votes at tribal)






Hermit crab. Hugs. Giddiness. We are back at camp Brain after the ‘common sense’ tribal council last week. Spencer is counting his lucky stars, Tasha is openly discussing their decision to keep him and Kass is labeling her tribe the ‘crap for brains’ tribe. It is at this point that I have figured out who I can hate this season… Kass. The mixture of arrogance and lack of social awareness  has led me to this conclusion: Kass flip flopping her way to the final three and ruining a number of player’s plans.

If only the tide would take her away

If only the tide would take her away

The sun rises and so does the hopes of the Brain tribe, who can see light at the end of the tunnel at the upcoming food reward challenge. As the three tribes file into the battle arena, Jeff wastes no time in uttering those sweet, sweet words “Drop your buffs”. The contestants will draw buffs for two new tribes. Stunned faces and open jaws as far as the eye can see. Depressingly the random buff draw lacked the theatre of the smashing egg routine we have seen in seasons past. Drum roll…. The new tribes are…


Spencer (Brain)

Kass (Brain)

Tasha (Brain)

Morgan (Beauty)

Jeremiah (Beauty)

Alexis (Beauty)

Sarah (Brawn)

I know, I know, how lucky are team Dunce? Immediate power shift! Poor Sarah. A lone Cop against the odds (RoboCop anyone?).

Lone Cop.

Lone Cop.


Tony (Brawn)

Cliff (Brawn)

Trish (Brawn)

Woo (Brawn)

Lindsey (Brawn)

LJ (Beauty)

Jefra (Beauty)

These teams are more lopsided than LJ’s hat! Interestingly we find two secret idols on one tribe. Will Brawn hold strong?



All we need now is a challenge to ruffle (rustle if your Hayden) the feathers. To my glee it is the classic ‘hold a pole and try to physically assault’ challenge. At this point if I was Aparri I would just throw in the towel, no one can possibly move Cliff. Alas, the show must go on. In a first to two game, Sarah and Morgan jump all over Lindsey whilst Trish and Jefra wrestle with Tasha. Surprise, surprise the strongest competitor in Tasha doesn’t move an inch. 1 point to Aparri as Lindsey is dragged kicking and screaming over the line. Next up Spencer and Jeremiah hug Cliff whilst LJ and Trish carry Alexis over the line in a matter of seconds. 1 point to each tribe. In the decider we see Tony and Lindsey wear Sarah down whilst Spencer and Jeremiah hug Cliff some more. Solana wins, sugar overload here they come!

Hold Me. Thrill Me. Kiss Me.

Hold Me. Thrill Me. Kiss Me.

Now, finally, the real game begins.

Back at the new Solana tribe LJ believes he is on borrowed time and gets to work on seducing fellow Bostonite and self acclaimed ‘Mrs Robinson’ Trish. Cliff, feeling refreshed after all the hugs, doesn’t like this one bit and does a great impression of an untrusting father on prom night. Fractures continue to appear with Trish telling Jefra that Lindsey cannot be trusted.

Whatchu talking about Willis?

Whatchu talking about Willis?

Over at new Aparri, Sarah is the odd one out; fortunately for her she is on a tribe of terrible players and doesn’t have to do any scrambling at all. To her credit (or luck) she drops Morgan in the furnace by asking the former Beauty members what decision did she make when arriving at the camp site on the very first day, bag of rice or idol clue? Morgan’s secret is out placing her firmly on the outs with Jeremiah and Alexis. In a blink of an eye Alexis declares that she is jumping ship and stupidly blurts all her plans and insider info to the Brain tribe. I feel good for Spencer, he deserves some good fortune. Morgan bitches about Alexis’ twerking habit… yes this actually happened and Jeremiah says he can’t trust anyone. Beauty is a mess. Brains are like three pigs in shit; deliriously happy.

Immunity time. Trish sits out for Solana; Morgan loses rock, paper, scissors to Alexis and hits the pine. They are both so inept that they could not be split by logic. This challenge requires the contestants to carry a giant pencil, smash it through a series of poorly constructed walls and complete a tricky maze with it. Solana bursts out of the gates until stumbling at the second wall. Both teams approach the final hurdle maze at the same time. Separated by mere inches, Aparri pulls out a vital win!

Now for the fireworks… Solana slowly (and silently) implode. Uncertain on whether he has Trish and Tony on side LJ seriously contemplates using his idol. Meanwhile, Lindsey does her best ‘first character killed in a crime film’ role by telling Cliff that Trish “is gonna flip man!” Amidst all off the hoopla, power player Tony and friendly giant Cliff talk shop in the bushes. Hats off to T Bone who once again finds himself holding all the right cards. Cliff comes across strong and determined to remove LJ; will Tony agree or see the former Trailbalzer’s sudden gameplay as a threat? Throw in the fact that LJ has the hidden immunity idol and we are set for a thrilling tribal.

Have a look at Katie’s tribal recap for an in-depth dissection.

Episode 4 – Preview

Episode 4 – Preview

It’s time…

Drop it like its hawt

Drop it like its hawt

Drop those buffs!

The link above isn’t very informative, CBS have released another sneak peak this week, however I am avoiding it so it doesn’t ruin the merge surprise.

A big episode ahead, in my opinion, the minorities will see themselves in the drivers seats and the kingpins may find themselves on the ropes.

Episode 3 – Player Rankings

Greeting Survivor aficionados! Things are really spicing up in the Cagayanodrome and producers have revealed that the next episode will feature a mini merge (presumably because of J’Tia single handedly decimating the Brain tribe). How will the mini merge impact the game? How will the merge occur? I personally am always a fan of smashing the eggs full of paint on their chests, it looks like fun, right? This mini merge could have some disastrous consequences for the players though, with contestants on the Brain tribe going from being vulnerable, hungry and exhausted, to potentially playing important roles as swing votes within the newly formed tribes.

Without further ado, onto the player rankings!

1. Tony

2. LJ

3. Sarah

4. Woo

5. Kass

6. Spencer

7. Jeremiah

Okay gang, if you made it into the top half of the list, kudos, you may be in with a chance of making some big moves. Tony, T-bone, the Terminator, look you are in a pretty good place right now, you have a fiercely loyal ally, an idol in your pocket and you’re a halfway decent physical and social player. Even with the mini merge ahead, you’re very well placed.

Kass and Spencer should also get ready to shine because once the egg smashing begins They may well become valuable commodities. These two have both shown they are quick, clever, social and physical players who could really make an impact in a new (and improved?) tribe.

8. Cliff

9. Tasha

10. Lindsey

11. Trish

12. Jefra

13. Alexis

14. Morgan

Okay you lot, you all have room for improvement. For one thing, Jefra, I really think it would help your cause if you could just change your name, maybe to something NOT MADE UP. That would be a great start, thanks. Cliff and Lindsey have had almost no impact on the game whatsoever aside from being entertainingly tall (Cliff) and resembling a moody roller derby girl (Lindsey), step it up, people! Poor Morgan isn’t in much of a power position now that Brice (sob) is gone, but depending on how the merge plays out, she could jump ship and team up with Beauty and/or Brain players and become a potentially crucial number.

Let’s face it though, the real power player here is the Probst-meister; the man who can do no wrong, the guy who can calm down a crazed psychopath with a single touch, blend up a cocktail of blood, milk and sea cucumber, and hold 25% of his body weight in a bucket of water using only his fingertips. Jeff, I salute you!

Episode 3 – Winners & Losers

We find ourselves four boots in with the baby merge approaching.  Tense times ahead!

Keeping with the four theme, here are the Winners & Losers…


1) Tony for tricking Sarah to the point of her wanting to throw a challenge. It is obvious now that their relationship will be an important part of this season, although built on a lie, there is an obvious level of trust now.



2) Cliff and Spencer for making the first merge. Both were dead in the water at different stages during the Episode. Lucky for them J’Tia saved them both with her ineptitude. Look for Spencer to go far now as his ‘underdog’ edit is gaining momentum.

"I'll play centre"

“I’ll play centre”

3) LJ and Tony for holding idols. Vital come first merge time. Don’t be surprised if LJ has to use it next week!

This Cagayan compass and map are confusing to follow

This Cagayan compass and map are confusing to follow

4) The producers for not reintroducing Garrett’s wasted idol. Once it is used (or not used) that’s it in my books. Replacing idols ruins the contest and devalues their importance.

Hands up who has two idols and is the most overrated Survivor ever!

Hands up who has two idols and is the most overrated Survivor ever!


1) Tasha and Kass for keeping J’Tia around. In the long run they MAY get lucky and last a while longer, but, numbers are so important early and if Garrett was still on the island they wouldn’t have found themselves at tribal. Utterly stupid.

We chose this

We chose this

Continue reading

Episode 3: Tribal Council

Going into this tribal council, I was starting to think that NOT voting J’Tia out was kind of like killing a man on the front lines of war. It goes against every fibre of your being but then once you’ve done it once maybe it gets easier to do it again and again (in the face of rice destruction, let’s say). Was it possible that the Brains tribe could go on NOT voting J’Tia out, no matter how wrong – both morally and strategically – that it may be? As Kass very politely and articulately describes it, J’Tia is a person with “a propensity for failure”. How is this kitty still hanging in there?

Tasha is over-heating that valuable brain going back and forth between keeping Spencer for his challenge abilities, and presumably his propensity not to lose his mind and destroy the tribe’s only food supply, or J’Tia for her blind loyalty and gratitude.


Tough choice.

Kass is looking cool as a cucumber, playing a great game and letting Tasha think she’s in the driving seat. Kass basically says she’s a badass mother who don’t give a s%$# who she votes on, as long as it isn’t her. This episode is the most confident I’ve seen Kass, I really think she’s finding her feet.

Continue reading